I usually start off with “tonight, while nobody was looking, I ate….”  My living arrangements have changed and I now have, from time to time, company at the dinner table.  Tonight, my new new housemate saw me eat a can of sardines, bassmati rice, and the usual pound of kale I’ll eat on any given day.

Since getting a divorce, I have found clever ways to remain single and not live alone, all while transforming my house into a proper environment for bachelor.  According to the US Census, the number of adult men living alone has increased for all the reasons you might think: the rising number of baby boomers, divorce, delayed marriage, etc.  In 2012, about twelve percent of all American households were made up of men living alone.  About fifteen percent of the total households were women living alone.  More often than women, divorced men live alone for an extended time.  With great purpose I have found a backassward way to hack the systematic isolation of middle age divorced men.

I have a long history of taking in housemates, extended guests, and the weird assortment of kids that my son Graham will bring around.

• A young man from Hangzhou, China, who was in the states as a researcher for a colleague, stayed with me for eighteen months.  His lengthy experiment theorized that green tea can kill cancer.  I couldn’t understand it.  Early on, I drove him to get the box of powdered milk that he inexplicably needed to work on it.  Try figuring out a way to translate “powdered milk” from Mandarin to English.  It took us some time, but the one box apparently lasted him the entire year and a half.  He tried to teach me a bit of Mandarin and stunned me with his views of Chinese society.  I taught him English and how to drive.  The first snow he saw included the storm of January 2016 that kept us snowbound for several days.
• Next was a man who is now my current boss.  He makes a home in Beckley, West Virginia, about 3 hours away, and needed a bed in Philippi.  He showed great kindness to my dog Pip and would chat for hours about his odd and eccentric knowledge of music and genealogy.  He has the best stories about being in the radio business during the last decade of FM glory, the 1980s.
• The next housemate, another colleague who commutes long distance, keeps a house, a limousine business, a bar, and a miniature golf course in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.  He watched the house, paid the rent, started up the Honda, and fed the cats while I was in Europe for three months.
• Next was a woman who became a dear confidant as we traveled Europe together.  She stayed for the summer as she worked with church groups who came into town on a mission to improve housing in Barbour County, West Virginia.  She helped me hang gutters and repair a soffit,  on my new house.

Today’s dinner started several weeks ago when I welcomed into my home a former student from Birmingham England who is sorting out how to stay in the US while working as a soccer coach and a youth counselor at a residential home for addicts.  Trust me: the man has some stories about all that.  Courtney (a man) and I reached an unusual agreement: he will act as my personal trainer, teaching me how to use weights, help out around the house, and help manage Mayzee the Basset Hound.  In exchange, I’ll give him a place to stay in Philippi as he tries to stay near a girlfriend and make his way in America.

How can I describe Courtney?  He’s pensive.  Back when he was still a student, he once told me that he had a question.  “I’ll ask later,” he said.  When the question finally came out a couple days later, it had some theological bent that caught me off guard.  That’s one example.  He delights in small pleasures, a trait we share.  One late night we spent about a half hour smelling and comparing four different curry powders as his girlfriend, who had been kept waiting at her house, was calling the phone.  Finally, he’s earnest.  At my first workout with him, he had me doing squats like I’ve never done before.  The affection, patience, and bemusement he has shown to the Basset Mayzee and the mutt Pip suggest he has good character.

The only reason why I’m lifting weights is to improve my performance at Strong by Zumba and impress my Zumba lady friends.  I need to be honest about that.

As a part of my “training,” I’ve been contemplating the amount of protein I eat.  Courtney has some protein shake that boasts 4,000 calories a serving.  How is that even possible?  So I’ve been looking for cheap ways to add a bunch of proteins without adding, say, an additional 2.000 freaking calories to my diet.  I’ve increased the number of eggs and beans I’ll eat.  I’ve also been looking for sneaky ingredients like chia seeds, which hardly qualify as food.  Still, I’ve been eating them because the label proclaims it’s “good for health.”

When people tell me “you need more protein,” my go-to source is a can of sardines.  The best sardines I can find are the Bumble Bee Gourmet Brisling Wild Sardines In Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  Sounds good, right?

So as Courtney and I were chatting, I started the rice cooker and then mixed up a bunch of kale, carrots, garlic, and coconut oil in the wok.  The wok itself was left to me by Yao Min from Hangzhou.  I threw in a bunch of sunflower seeds because I keep them near the stove.  Several times, over an unusually large meal, Courtney has said “That’s fuel.”